So, back to the question of why start blogging? As blessed as I am to have almost everything I could ask for I am lacking something..talent. Here's a little bit of background on who I am. In kindergarten my mother was so proud she had raised such a polite and easy going kid, as my report card read "Kallan is a lovely child". Upon further analysis, she realized it in fact said "lively". In senior kindergarten my teacher called home to tell my mom I hadn't finished my easter basket in time. "She's just too social" was her complaint. While mom brushed it off, this is just an example of my life priorities. I'm a social butterfly, but I'm not so good at finishing what I've started. The following is an account of how this has played out in my youth.
Growing up I watched my siblings thrive in their respective strengths. My brother received a football scholarship to the states. My older sister danced her way into the hearts and minds of many. My younger sister one day picked up a rugby ball and has never looked back. From a young age I attempted to express myself through various activities. I started in dance, hoping to become the shining star my model older sister had become. At the age of 3, I ran out onto the stage with my other wing partners, in a dance my sister's class was performing. And wow did I shine. Rockin Robin began to play, and I stepped forward in front of all the dancers, peered into the audience, then proceeded to jump up and down shouting and waving "Hi Mom!!" Let's just say that was the end of my dance career. Or perhaps it was after I failed to make it to the bathroom in time and instead peed in my leotard. Class act. Then came gymnastics. My bubbly, adrenalized self meant I had no problem making friends. However after many failed attempts at manipulating my body into the contortionist moves required to really be able to do anything in gymnastics, Mom ever so lovingly removed me from my potential future career. Next came tai kwon do. Three belts later we moved, and I have since run away from anyone who looks even slightly intimidating. Church choir..piano lessons..acting classes..track and field..so much of my youth was directed at finding my niche and exploring new possibilities. My once supposed angelic voice has dissolved. I can play three self taught songs and I now virtually throw up every time I step on a stage. I was a star athlete in the fifth grade. Too bad no one remembers or cares about your accomplishments at the age of 9. Then came hockey, the sport that defined my adolescence. Blood, sweat and tears went into 5am practices. One incident taught me to always double check my equipment before I leave the house. I had left my birthday party early, forgot them, and didn't realize they were not in my bag. In true Kallan fashion, I apparently decided nothing was missing when I got dressed, until my coach so eloquently pointed out after my first few laps that pants are mandatory. Luckily this was early on in my 9 year hockey career, and I never forgot to wear pants again. I tried out for my high school hockey team twice. I was rejected twice. A lack of aggression led me to skate off the ice when a fight broke out- something my friends watching in the stands will never let me live down. Speed has always been my forte. Unfortunately skill does not accompany this. The rush of winding past others in an epic breakaway just doesn't have the same effect when I miss the net by a long shot. But really it wasn't about the sport itself. Sure, it's fun to receive the pats of glory when you score a goal, but for me it was always about the rush of stepping on the ice and feeling the wind hit you in the face as I skated around. I didn't need to be good, I just love to skate. Ironically enough, in 9 years of playing both hockey and soccer my team won the championship only once, in my first year of hockey. We henceforth lost every game I played for the next decade. There is only so much support parents can give to a losing team. Thus was my attempt throughout years of trials and tribulations to find something that called to me, that highlighted my skills, that showcased my talent. But it was not to be. Instead, I have participated in every activity a mother can adoringly stick her child in at a young age, and while I have years of great memories, I feel somewhat empty. Almost like I missed my chance to really succeed at something big.
So to date my greatest feats are the following: I have double jointed thumbs. I cannot sit cross-legged (Not so much a feat as a major source of conversation). I can recite all books of the bible in order without hesitation. There's even a song that goes along with it. That's right people, my biggest accomplishment to date is a song about God's accomplishments. Impressive nonetheless, or so I've been told. Thank you fourth grade Bible school. In my struggle to identify my strengths I began to write. I kept a journal from a young age, detailing the cruel and unusual punishment incited by my older sister when she babysat, as well as chronicling the adventures of a young suburban 9 year old who really had nothing to write of interest to others. For fun, our group of friends wrote plays which we then performed to the neighbourhood. Instead of playing teacher on a regular basis like most kids, I wrote news shows with my best friend (advertisements and all) and set up for the evening news to broadcast in front of my parents. I wasn't serious about it until I applied to Carleton for journalism. I was accepted and offered an entrance scholarship. I chose Queen's- scholarship free. And it is the best decision I made. I've traveled to Europe, Central America and New Zealand and am finishing my degree in international development studies. I now have a passion for travel and international journalism, and although this blog is for my own self-development who knows, maybe one day I'll be discovered!
My next task is to work on sentence structure and try not to be so wordy. As Dr. Seuss wrote "So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads"
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